Tag Archives: Friends

Pandora’s Box

thinking

Sitting back thinking over the past few years about life’s events. What would have happened if I had done this? What would have happened if I had done that? Would things still be the same or would you have taken a different turn? Is there something major you’d change or just a small change? How many people would you remove or bring into  your life? What relationships would you keep or get rid of?

In sitting here pondering, you realize after a moment that yes, it’s just a what if or I should have. You can’t change anything so just move forward. Keep pushing forward with your life and don’t stop and go backwards. By all means stop and smell the roses. Don’t dwell on things that you can’t change. You can’t do anything about them so move on.

Love Is Pain_624

My heart has been broken multiple times. I’ve been through a very traumatic life so far and I fear it isn’t ever going to end. With the feelings that I have for certain loved ones, I don’t mind them at all because we all have them. We love our family, aside from those that we don’t like at all. Don’t tell me you don’t have any that you don’t love because you know you go to the family gatherings and you mean mug someone the entire time.

Romantic feelings are going. I don’t feel like getting hurt again. I mean come on. How hard is it to be in a relationship with someone now a days? Conflicting personalities, points of view, vocabulary, etc. play a role in our relationships and can ultimately cause relationship issues later on after the “newness” wears off.

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So I’ve decided not to let those feelings get out and run away. Those romantic feelings are going to be tucked away in my own Pandora’s box. Why? Cause if they’re there, I don’t have to worry about them coming out and causing issues. I remember going there and to the extent of speaking about them. That ended 95% of the time resulting in me being hurt. I’d rather not go through that again.

Feeling a certain way and the opposite not feeling the same does indeed hurt. Especially it hurts when you express your feelings and with their response you feel like you’ve made the biggest mistake in the world. A lot of the time we feel like we have the foot in mouth syndrom after we hit that send button on our phone.

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So let’s lock these feelings away and move on. That relationship isn’t going to happen. We aren’t going to have that relationship, nor be at that level again. Those things aren’t going to be said anymore. Those feelings don’t exist anymore. They’ve all gone and things are changing. No need to worry about it. Those things won’t be said again even if I do feel that way again.

If I ever feel that way in the future, you won’t know because I won’t say a thing.


To you my friend

To my wonderful friend,

Over the past few weeks you’ve made things more bearable for me. You’ve helped me open my eyes to multiple situations and ideas. I may have been quite shocked and caught off guard but it was only because no one has said those things to me before. I greatly appreciate your honesty with me. It’s one of the things that makes me happy to call you my friend.

Not only have you helped me with advice but you’ve helped me with trying to relieve stress, unneeded stress at that. You’ve helped me see things I haven’t looked at before. You’ve had me think of things I didn’t think about before. The funny part is, my therapist agreed with you on several different occasions or aspects of the advice you’ve given me. I’m very thankful to have you as a friend.

I’ve missed being able to talk to you. I’ve missed being able to hang out with you. I know that wasn’t possible because of jealousy issues. I know that there were issues so I stayed back and tried to keep to myself. I didn’t want there to be arguments or jealous fits because I didn’t want to cause you any grief or pain. Even with me staying away it didn’t happen. I so badly want to apologize to you for that but it wasn’t in my hands, it wasn’t me that did it.

I do want to apologize for feeling needy and so talkative. I just hope you understand it’s nice to be able to talk to you again and goof off like we use to. We always had fun. We were alway silly. It was sorely missed when it wasn’t there. Sitting back talking with you and giggling about when we use to hang out always makes me smile. I mean come on, we were goofballs. We still are and I absolutely love that. I don’t have to change who I am, how I talk or how I act with you because you already know me and I don’t have to be afraid to be myself. The only thing I have to do is toughen up and stop whining. *giggles*

Thank you for being there for me when I needed it last week. Being able to lay in your arms and talk about what is going on was so awesome. I was relaxed. You listened to me talk. You gave me advice. You saw what I was going through and having to deal with. Thank you so much for just holding me and allowing me to feel safe. For a moment the world stopped, everything paused and nothing was wrong…more importantly, I wasn’t worried.

Being your friend means a lot to me. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your life. Please know that I’m always  here for you. I’ve been through so much and can offer you so much advice as well as hugs. I’m here to help you however I can, you know that. I’m here no matter what. I’m here no matter the time. I’m here no matter the day. All I want is to see you happy. I hate it when you are upset or mad, hurt or angry. I just want to see you happy. If there is ever anything I can do to help achieve that, let me know. You know I will try my hardest to see you smile.

You are an awesome friend to have. You an awesome person to be around. Don’t let anyone tell you different. Those people that are saying things to hurt you are only upset because you are moving forward with your life. Don’t let them drag you back down. Don’t let them pull you back into their web of lies. It isn’t worth it. It isn’t going to benefit you at all. Look forward and not behind you. Look up and not down. All else fails, you know I’m here for you if you ever want to chat. I know trust is an issue and I completely understand because it is with me as well.

Don’t limit yourself. Don’t hold yourself back from what you could have. Don’t let your past keep you down because you just might miss your future and I would hate to see that happen. You deserve the world and more. You deserve to be happy every day. You deserve to have someone support you in every single way. You aren’t the bad guy. You’re the good guy. Good guys don’t always finish last.

~Your friend~


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